


On a Really Basic Itty-Bitty Level

by oj_lod



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders
Genre: A little angst, Dubious Science, Existentialism, Fluff, M/M, logan wonders about life, logicality - Freeform, patton is there for him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-01 23:44:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11497290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oj_lod/pseuds/oj_lod
Summary: "No matter how long you live, you'll never touch another human being."Based on @the-prince-and-the-emo‘s post, Logan struggles with the weight knowledge can bring, and Morality comforts him with his own weird perspective.





	On a Really Basic Itty-Bitty Level

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posting this from tumblr! This was back before we knew Patton's name, so he's referred to as Morality here. This was my first TS fanfiction, but really only the start of a rabbit hole. Enjoy!

No matter how long you’ll live, you’ll never touch another human being. There will always be a gap, an infinitesimal space between your molecules and theirs. (See, Logan does know how to use that word.) He knows a lot of things. It’s his job, after all. And most days, he likes his job. He’s nothing if not knowledgeable, and he enjoys explaining things, he really does. He’s a teacher by nature, and most of the time knowledge is great.  
But there are those times when it’s a burden. There are things that aren’t worth knowing, things that do more harm than good. Sometimes, he has to think about the bottom of the ocean and the number of teeth dinosaurs have or sixteen different medieval diseases. Technically, there’s no fear to these facts. He leaves the uneasiness to Anxiety, who acts as a sort of go-between for these facts and Thomas. So Logan has no reason to consider that. There’s nothing to fear.  
But there is a loneliness. There is a crushing loneliness that comes with knowing that touch is just the transfer of kinetic energy and you’ll never really understand the feeling of a mother’s hand, or a friend’s hug, or a lover’s lips. And Logan considers himself an unbiased, objective kind of person. Because, things just are one way or another. There’s no use getting worked up over things that are unchangeable. But he’s not inhuman, and as frustrating as emotions are, they have scientific roots. Hormones and impulses and a whole lot of questionable neuroscience can explain away weird flutterings and the collapse of composure. So really, a lack of emotions would be less logical.  
That doesn’t mean he has to like it. So, on those nights where the knowledge of everything threatens to suffocate him, he hugs his knees and bites his lip and pretends he isn’t lonely or sad. He pretends he’s impartial and cold, because he’s seen how vulnerable emotions make you. He’s seen the pain it puts people through. He’s spent a long time protecting Thomas from irrational action driven by feelings, so he can’t succumb to them himself. He’ll make sure he looks and acts just fine, because he is, as long as nobody can prove that he isn’t.  
“Logan?”  
But dang it, if some people don’t make that really, really hard.  
Morality is standing in the doorway to Logan’s room, a mug in one hand. The artificial moonlight streaming through the window bounces off his glasses, obscuring his eyes. His mouth is just beginning to pull down at the corners, rapidly reversing his default smile.  
“What do you want, Morality?” The more parental side steps over to him, seeming to test the waters.  
“Oh nothing, you know how it is. Are you alright?” Logan is absolutely not alright, but he’s not about to let Morality ruin his nice denial session.  
“Yes, I am perfectly fine. Now, I would appreciate it if you vacated my room.” Morality hesitates for a moment.  
“Well, sure! I don’t want to bother ya, but…” He clears his throat. “I’m here if you need anything, you know that right? It’s sort of my job to keep everyone from being down in the dumps.” There’s a long, awkward pause. “So, I’ll just head back to my room then!” He chirps, turning back around. Logan waits one, two, three beats before his resolve breaks.  
“Morality?” At the sound of his name, Morality turns immediately. His relief is evident in the way his shoulders sag into a relaxed line.  
“Yup?”  
“Are you familiar with C8?”  
“The battleship coordinate?” Logan fights the urge to roll his eyes.  
“No, C8 is an equation in mereotopology that shows the way two objects ‘touch’ theoretically. For example, if x and y are ‘touching’ then there must be a self-connected ‘z’ that…” he trails off at the sight of Morality’s kind, but ultimately lost face. Logan can’t blame him, he’s pretty sure this isn’t a shared knowledge kind of thing. It’s probably individual like Roman’s Spanish or Anxiety’s affinity for emo bands.  
“To put it simply, nothing actually touches, ever. There’s always a pocket of molecules separating one thing from another.”  
“Oh.” Morality seems to consider this. After a moment his eyes light up. “Hey, that means we never touch the ground, right?”  
“Yes, I mean I suppose–”  
“So that means we can actually fly, and we do it all the time!” Logan stops short. He’s never looked at it like that. Because it’s stupid, he supplies, but also weirdly charming.  
“Yes, technically. Though I suppose levitation would be the correct term.”  
“Logan, that’s so cool, thanks for telling me!” Morality’s eyes are positively sparkling.  
“I guess it is, but…” His friend nods gently, encouraging him. “It’s not just the ground, obviously. Scientifically speaking, we can’t touch each other, either.” He gestures to his knee, where Morality has subconsciously rested a hand. “You’re not touching me right now, just the molecules around me.” Morality makes a small “ah” sound. He’s quiet for a long time.  
Eventually, he hands Logan the mug of tea he’s holding.  
“Here.” WIth that, he wraps both arms tightly around Logan’s torso.  
“What are you doing?” Logan means to say it firmly. His lungs seem to have other plans, as he lets out a squeak with the air that leaves them.  
“That’s an awfully difficult way to look at things, Logan.” The more rational side shrugs uncomfortably under the scrutiny. “But I was thinking.”  
“Shocking.”  
“That stings, but I’m going to count it towards the dad jokes.”  
“I need to stop doing that.”  
“I was thinking about what you were saying the other day, about how electrons can jump from one object to the other?”  
“Thus creating a static charge and giving me an excuse to shock you, yes, your point?”  
“Well, right now, even though I’m hugging you, we’re not touching. But, electrons that were on me are on you now, right? So at a really basic, itty bitty level, we are touching! And that’s pretty freaking cool!” Logan blinks.  
“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but you’re sort of right, Morality. I mean, your science is kind of off and you have no affinity for the correct terms…but, at ‘a really basic, itty bitty level’, you’re correct.” It isn’t the politest way to acknowledge somebody’s accomplishments, but Morality seems happy nonetheless.  
“So I’m gonna keep hugging you, okay Logan?” Logan nods, barely. “And,” He takes the other’s slightly trembling hand and laces their fingers together. “I’m going to do this, if you’re okay with it.” Logan nods again, his mind occupied with the sudden spike in his heart rate and the unexpected weight to his breaths. Morality leans in conspiratorially. “We might not actually be touching, but I think it’s pretty nice anyway.” He shifts, snuggling into Logan’s collar before scolding, “Now drink your tea, you’ve got to stay warm!” Logan lifts the cup to his lips, sighing against the steam. He glances over to his companion. Morality’s eyes are just beginning to flutter shut, the lateness of the hour creeping up on them.  
And Logan is inclined to agree with what he’d said before. Because even if the touch wasn’t real, the warm feeling spreading throughout him was. The metaphorical butterflies in his stomach were also real, as weird of a thought as that was. And even if everything in this world was a lie, if science explained away everything else, they would have this moment. Logan himself will probably deny it tomorrow morning. It will most likely be weak attempt to normalize a series of variables that suddenly have no control. But for now, he lets all of it slip away as he drifts off. The last thing he registers before a bizarre series of dreams is Morality, gently squeezing his hand.


End file.
